I read a similar top ten list, and I got a whole bunch of ideas, so I decided to write my own second part to it. Unfortunately I don't know the author of the first list.


More signs that the Enterprise-D is nearing the end of its warranty

by mspt47

22  A bright, white flash appears out of nowhere and the crew think Q has come back for one of his visits.
21  Dr. Crusher thinks she is hearing voices when the comm system filters all of the ship's conversations to her quarters.
20  Dr. Crusher and Counselor Troi collaborate in trying to establish a treatment program for Captain Picard when the replicator pattern for Earl Grey tea disappears.
19  Intruder alert warnings go off whenever Worf throws a fit.
18 "Supercalafragilisticexpialidocious" blares out of the comm system at deafening volumes at random moments.
17 Out of Memory messages appear when trying to access internal files on the main computer.
16 Captain Picard installs The Clapper in his quarters to replace the voice functions when the computer requires the him to enter a security code to turn on the lights.
15 Instead of calling Worf by his correct name, the computer calls him 'Woof'.
14 Geordi is overwhelmed by inquiries from eager women (and then subsequently rejected) when his personnel file is mixed up with Riker's.
13 Environmental controls attempt to eliminate all oxygen on the ship when oxygen is read as a contamination.
12 The weapons guidance systems go haywire and Worf blames himself for it.
11 Ice skating becomes a ship-wide hobby when environmental controls drop and freeze over the entire ship.
10 Red alert klaxons go off whenever replicators are asked to make Pork & Beans.
9 Malfuntion in computer language chip causes the computer to speak only in Klingon.
8 Newly installed seat belts are required whenever the ship is taken out of warp drive.
7 Main viewer on the bridge only functions when Data stands on the center table in Ten-Forward doing the late 20th century dance: the Macarena.
6 Transporters occasionally transport crew members accidentally to captain's ready room.
5 Bridge computer commands only function when Worf, Riker, and Picard speak in unison.
4 Energy to artificial gravity fluctuates drastically whenever a toilet is flushed.
3 Bug in replicators results in replicating only chocolate regardless of the request -- makes Counselor Troi very happy, and everyone else sick.
2 Sickbay fills up with cases of broken noses from crew members walking into doors that open three seconds too late.
1 Starfleet Command allows Counselor Troi to control the helm!

I'm kidding about that last one; I don't really think it was her fault!

Feel free to pass this list around, as long you acknowledge this is mine.


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