Star Trek: Voyager Quotes

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the Voyager series. Some of them are funny, some are profound, and some are just worthy of mentioning. Suggestions for quotes to be added to this list are always welcome.


Janeway: "Mr. Kim, at ease before you sprain something."

Janeway: "Ensign, despite Starfleet protocol, I don't like being addressed as 'sir.'"
Kim: "I'm sorry ... ma'am."
Janeway: "'Ma'am' is acceptable in a crunch, but I prefer 'Captain.'"
Janeway: "Would you like to take over?"
Kim: "Yes, ma'am!"
Janeway: "It's not crunch time yet, Mr. Kim. I'll let you know when."

Paris: "If I save your butt, your life belongs to me. Isn't that some kind of Indian custom?"
Chakotay: "Wrong tribe."
Paris: "I don't believe you ... You'd rather die than let me be the one to rescue you?"
Chakotay: "Fine. Be a fool. If I have to die at least I'll have the pleasure of watching you go with me."
Paris: "Isn't there some Indian trick where you can turn yourself into a bird and fly us out of here?"
Chakotay: "You're too heavy."

Janeway: "We're alone. In an uncharted part of the galaxy. We've already make some friends here, and some enemies. We have no idea of the dangers we're going to face. But one thing is clear: both crews are going to have to work together if we're to survive. That's why Commander Chakotay and I have agreed that this should be one crew -- a Starfleet crew. And as the only Starfleet vessel assigned to the Delta Quadrant, we'll continue to follow our directive: to seek out new worlds and explore space. But our primary goal is clear. Even at maximum speeds, it would take 75 years to reach the Federation. But I'm not willing to settle for that. There's another entity like the Caretaker out there somewhere who has the ability to get us there a lot faster. We'll be looking for her. And we'll we looking for wormholes, spatial rifts, or new technologies to help us. Somewhere, along this journey, we'll find a way back. Mr. Paris, set a course ... for home."


Paris: "If we don't get more power to the warp drive, we're going to have to get out and push."

Time and Again

Doctor: "Missing! The captain is missing! It seems I've found myself on the voyage of the damned."

Doctor (about Kes): "She is the healthiest member of her species I have ever seen. She is the only member of her species I have ever seen. You have a lovely brain. It will make a fine addition to our files."

  Doctor: "I'm a doctor, Mr. Neelix, not a decorator."

Doctor: "Don't worry, I'm not going to kiss you, I'm only adjusting the restraint."
Neelix: "I'll try to contain my disappointment."

Doctor: "First they tell me there’s no doctor, so I have to be on call 24 hours a day. And then they tell me there are no nurses, so I have no one to assist me."
Kes: "I thought Tom Paris was assigned to you."
Doctor: "Like I said -- no one to assist me."

Janeway: "Tuvok, what would happen if we locked phasers and fired at the source?"
Tuvok: "The walls of this chamber reflect directed energy. The phaser beam would ricochet along an unpredictable path, possibly impacting our ship in the process."
Janeway: "All right, we won't try that."

The Cloud

Janeway: "Commander, set a new course. There's coffee in that nebula."

Chakotay: "B'Elanna's the only one I know who tried to kill her animal guide."

Janeway:: "I need to know if we did serious harm to that life-form."
Doctor: "Let's see ... you ran your ship through it, fired phasers at it, and blew a hole in it with a photon torpedo. I'd say it's a pretty good chance that you did some fairly significant --"

Janeway: "Dismissed. That's a Starfleet expression for 'get out.'

The 37's

Paris: "Captain, I think I should tell you I've never actually landed a starship before."
Janeway: "That's all right, Lieutenant, neither have I."

Non Sequitor

Kim: "Why does everyone say 'relax' when they're about to do something terrible?"


Tuvok: "When every logical course of action is exhausted, the only logical course that remains is inaction."

Doctor: "How many times do I have to tell you, Madam? I'm a Doctor, not a bartender."

Chakotay (to Neelix): "Nothing makes us more vulnerable than when we love someone. We can be hurt very easily. But I've always believed that what you get when you love someone is greater than what you risk."

Sandrine: "If he won't play pool with you and he won't make love to me, then as far as I'm concerned, he can mop the floor."
Doctor: "You see these hands? These are surgeon's hands, created by the most sophisticated computer imaging technology available. They do not play games, and they do not mop floors."
Sandrine: "Then you are fired. I will find a new bartender."
Doctor: "I really wish you would. "

  Doctor (to Janeway): "I'm a doctor, not a voyeur."

Paris: "Keep a lock on us, Voyager. If you hear muffled screams, consider that a request for a beam-out."


Paris: "The ship might make it without inertial dampers, but we'd all just be stains on the back wall."

Cold Fire

Tuvok (to Kes): "Without the darkness how would we recognize the light? Do not fear your negative thoughts. They are part of you. They are a part of every living being."


Doctor: "I shouldn't have to remind you ... I'm a doctor --"
Torres: "-- not an engineer. Right."

The Thaw
Kim: "This is not reality -- it's an illusion."
The Clown: "When your only reality is an illusion, then illusion is reality."

Janeway (about unconscious Paris): "Can you wake him?"
Doctor: "I believe so. WAKE UP, LIEUTENANT!!"


Doctor: "All of us have violent instincts. We have evolved from predators ... Well, not me, of course. I've just been programmed by you predators."

Tuvok: "Do you know what a mind meld is?"
Suder: "It's that Vulcan thing where you grab someone's head."

Doctor (to Tuvok): "You're on your way back to being normal, although I'm not sure how the word 'normal' applies to a species that suppresses all their emotions."


Paris: "When a bomb starts talking about itself in the third person, I get worried."

Death Wish

Q (to Janeway): "Has anyone ever told you you're angry when you're beautiful?"

Janeway: "One thing you've never been is a liar."
Q: "I think you've uncovered my one redeeming virtue! Am I blushing?"

Q (to Quinn): "This is your own doing. You could live a perfectly normal life if you were simply willing to live a perfectly normal life!"

Tuvok (to Quinn): "I am curious. Have the Q always had an absence of manners? Or is it the result of some natural evolutionary process that comes with omnipotence?"

Q: "Captain, may I see you in chambers?"
Janeway: "You've been in my chambers enough for one visit."


Doctor (to Neelix): "I'm a doctor, not a performer."


Doctor (to Ensign Wildman in labor): "Push, Ensign!"
Ensign Wildman: "You push, damn it! I'm sick of pushing!"

Kim: "It's all a little weird."
Janeway: "We're Starfleet officers. 'Weird' is part of the job."


Seska: "I won't play these games with a trick of light."
: "Sticks and stones can't break my bones, so you can imagine how I feel about being called names."


Chakotay: "Trapped on a barren planet and you're stuck with the only Indian in the universe who can't start a fire by rubbing two sticks together."

Doctor: "I'm a doctor, not a counterinsurgent."

Tuvok: "Mr. Neelix, I would prefer not to hear the life history of my breakfast."

Chakotay: "I've found that when you don't think about a problem, sometimes the solution comes to you."

The Swarm

Doctor: "All the sopranos seem to have the most irritating personalities. These women are arrogant, superior, condescending ... I can't imagine anyone behaving that way."

Torres: "I want to see if the data corruption is affecting your optical sensors." (changes the Doctor's program) "What did that do?"
Doctor: "I can't see! I'm blind!"
Torres: (returns the Doctor's program back to normal) "All right."
Doctor: "Oh! That is extremely disconcerting. Please don't do it again!"

Doctor: "How extremely rude. May I remind you that I am, in a way, your patient, who's suffering from an unknown and obviously debilitating condition. I would think you'd be a little more sensitive to my needs."
: "You are questioning my bedside manner?"

Torres (about the Dr. Zimmerman hologram): "I can see where you got your charming personality."
Doctor: "Not to mention my hairline."

Dr. Zimmerman hologram: "You filled your memory with nonsense."
Doctor: "It was only during my off hours."
Dr. Zimmerman hologram: "You're supposed to be off during your off hours."

  Dr. Zimmerman hologram: "I have pointed out over and over again: I am a diagnostic tool, not an engineer."

Janeway: "When I was in high school I snuck out of the house a couple of times late at night. Had to tiptoe past my parents bedroom. That's kind of how I feel right now."
Paris: "You sneaked out of your house? Where were you going?"
Janeway: "I'll have to leave that to your imagination, Lieutenant."
Paris: "Can I take a few guesses?"

Future's End

Janeway: "Time travel - from my first day on the job as captain, I swore that I would never let myself get caught up in one of these God-forsaken paradoxes. The future is the past, the past is the future ... it all gives me an headache."

Doctor (to Starling): "I'm a doctor, not a database."

Chakotay: "Only you, B'Elanna, can start a brawl in Astrotheory 101."

Doctor (to Starling): "If my history is accurate, southern California in the late twentieth century had no shortage of psychotherapists, competent and otherwise. I suggest you find one."

Anti-government dude: "God and Heaven help us!"
Doctor: "Divine intervention is ... unlikely."

The Q and the Gray

Q: "The night is young, and the sheets are satin."
Janeway: "I want you out. But first, get rid of this bed."
Q: "I have no intention of getting between those Starfleet issue sheets. They give me a terrible rash."
Janeway: "Oh, since you won't be getting in the bed, I wouldn't worry about it."
Q: "Oh, Kathy, don't be such a prude. Admit it. It has been a while."
Janeway: "And it's going to be a while longer. Now get out."

Q: "I know that you're probably asking yourself, 'Why would a brilliant, handsome, dashingly omnipotent being like Q want to mate with a scrawny little bipedal specimen like me?'"
Janeway: "Let me guess. No one else in the universe will have you."
Q: "Nonsense. I could have chosen a Klingon Targ, the Romulan empress, a Cyrillian microbe."
Janeway: "Really? I beat out a single-celled organism? How flattering."

Q: "Kathy, you can't leave. My cosmic clock is ticking. Besides, you have no idea what you're missing. Foreplay with a Q can last for decades."
Janeway: "Sorry, but I'm busy for the next 60 or 70 years."
Q: "Oh, I see, this is one of those silly human rituals. You're playing hard to get."
Janeway: "As far as you're concerned, Q, I'm impossible to get."

Chakotay: "I know I don't have any right to feel this way, but this bothers the hell out of me."
(Q appears)
: "I do believe you're jealous." (to Janeway) "Why didn't you tell me there was another man?"
Janeway: "Because there isn't. I'm just not interested in you."
Chakotay: "Any more questions?"
Q: "I was wondering, Kathy. What could anyone possibly see in this big oaf, anyway? Is it the tattoo?" (creates a huge tattoo on his face) "Because mine's bigger."
Janeway: "Not big enough."

Q: (to Paris and Kim) "Guys, I just don't understand your captain. I've tried everything. Filling the bridge with roses, writing Drabian love sonnets, serenading her in her bath."
Paris: "Oh, I'll bet she loved that one."

Janeway: "I'm just not the right kind of woman for you, Q."
(Female Q appears)
Female Q: "Truer words were never spoken."
Q: "Q! How did you find me?"
Female Q: "Never mind that. What are you doing with that dog?" (Q and Janeway look at the puppy) "I'm not talking about the puppy."

Chakotay: "How were Q and Captain Janeway able to reenter the Continuum and you weren't?"
Female Q: "I tried to return, but I was wounded in the process. Oh, don't try to understand it, it's far beyond your limited capacity to comprehend. What's important is, I'm stuck here with you mortals while Q is probably in the process of irreparably harming the Continuum with that woman. Tossed aside for someone five billion years younger. If it weren't so laughable, I'd cry."

Torres (to Female Q): "You know, I'm really getting tired of this superiority complex of yours."
Female Q: "It's not a complex, dear, it's a fact."

Blood Fever

Vorik: "I hope she isn't too upset with me."
Doctor: "For Lieutenant Torres, 'upset' is a relative term."

Favorite Son

Chakotay: "What's your next trick, Harry? Pull a shuttlecraft out of a hat?"

Before and After

Kim (to Paris): "So, how does it feel to be a grandfather?"
Paris: "A lot better than it does to have you for a son-in-law."

Distant Origin

Paris: "I'll see you tonight, B-Y-O-B."
Torres: "What?"
Paris: "Bring your own bat'leth."

B'Elanna: "I'm not hostile, am I, Harry?"
: "No, of course not ..."
: "I'm forthright, I speak my mind, and that's very different from being hostile."
: "Very different."
: "And if someone described me that way, they'd be way off the mark, right?"
Harry: "Way off."
B'Elanna: "Then why do you look like you're afraid for your life?"

Torres: "I've reconfigured his [the Doctor's] optical sensors. As soon as they're aligned, he should be able to detect the microwave signature of the portal."
Doctor: "Then I can begin my new career as a tricorder."

Worst Case Scenario

Janeway: "With all due respect, Mr. Tuvok, loosen up."

Torres: "All I'm saying is that there is room in every good story for a little bit of passion."
Paris: "You know, maybe you're on to something. I could add a steamy love scene between the Starfleet conn officer and the Maquis engineer."
Torres: "Oh, that's realistic."

Paris: "I guess we should have known that Seska wouldn't let a little thing like death stop her from getting even."


Doctor: "I'll delete myself at the first sign of trouble. Well, maybe not the first sign."

Chakotay: "Echoing the greats. Ensign Hickman in astrophysics does a passable Janeway."
Janeway: "If we manage to survive the next few days, I'm going to have a little chat with Ensign Hickman. Imitating the Captain, huh? Surely that violates some kind of Starfleet protocol."

Janeway: "This day was inevitable. We all knew it, and we've all tried to prepare ourselves for the challenge ahead. But at what point is the risk too great? At what point do we come about and retreat to friendly territory? Could the crew accept living out the rest of their lives in the Delta Quadrant? I keep looking to all these Captains, my comrades in arms. But the truth is, I'm alone."
Chakotay: "If that moment comes, we'll face it together. And we'll make the right decision. You're not alone, Kathryn."
Janeway: "Three years ago, I didn't even know your name. Today I can't imagine a day without you."

The Gift
Seven of Nine: "This drone cannot survive outside the collective."
Doctor: "I beg to differ. Now that the Borg implants are being excised your human systems are free to thrive and thriving they are. As a matter of fact I --" (Janeway glares at him)

Janeway: "I can tell by the expression on your face that you have some bad news."
Tuvok: "I have no expression on my face. However, you are correct."

Doctor: "We must find a way to suppress it or the last we'll see of Kes could very well be her molecules blowing through the ventilation docks."

Doctor (to Seven): "I also took the liberty of stimulating your hair follicles, a vicarious experience for me, as you might imagine."

Day of Honor

Paris: "If we could interplex the comm systems of both suits, we might be able to make a phased carrier wave. Voyager would read the signature and know it's from us."
Torres: "Good idea. Let me access your controls."
Paris: "I thought you'd never ask."


Doctor (to Chakotay): "From the condition of your hypothalamus, I'd say that had you so mixed up they could have convinced you your own mother was a turnip."

Doctor: "The Captain has authorized me to recruit someone with advanced medical training to help out in sickbay. Unfortunately, the most qualified crewmember is you."
Paris: "You want me to be the new nurse?"
Doctor: "If that is the title you prefer. Report to sickbay at 0600 hours. Bring a tricorder and a smile."

Doctor (to Torres): "I didn't realize I'd struck a nerve. Perhaps you'd like a tranquilizer."

Doctor (to Paris and Torres): "I'm detecting elevated hormonal levels. If you two don't take it easy, I'll have to declare a medical emergency."

Scientific Method
Tuvok: "Good morning, Captain."
Janeway (in a bad mood): "That's a matter of opinion!"

Janeway: "You are security chief. Don't thirteen department heads report to you every day?"
Tuvok: "Yes."
Janeway: "Well, straighten them out."
Tuvok: "Shall I flog them as well?"

Janeway: "I never realized you thought of me as reckless, Tuvok."
Tuvok: Poor choice of words. It was clearly an understatement.

Torres: "This is really delicious."
Paris: "Oh, thanks, I replicated it myself."
Torres: "Mm, you're too good for me."

Random Thoughts

Neelix: "I mean, you're involved now. You won't be availing yourself of all the beautiful, fascinating, and very open-minded Mari women."
Paris: "Are you trying to depress me?"

Waking Moments

Paris: "Neelix, did you have a rough night or something?"
Neelix: "Why do you ask?"
Paris: "Because you've just poured me a steaming cup of cooking oil."

Janeway: "Either I've become impervious to anti-matter explosions, or we're still dreaming." (as Janeway walks out of Engineering where the warp core supposedly breached)

Message in a Bottle

Doctor (to EMH Mark II): "If you'd disengage your vocal subroutines for one second, I'd explain!"

Doctor: "Refresh my memory: which of us has the terrible bedside manner?
EMH Mark II: "You are not my patient!"
Doctor: "My first bit of good news."

  EMH Mark II (to Doctor): "I'm a doctor, not a commando."
  Paris (to Kim): "I'm a pilot, Harry, not a doctor."

Doctor: "Stop breathing down my neck!
EMH Mark II: "My breathing is only a simulation."
Doctor: "So is my neck; stop it anyway!"

Computer: "Specify attack pattern."
Doctor (guessing at a Greek letter): "Attack pattern ... Alpha?"
Computer: "Specify target."
Doctor and EMH Mark II (in unison): "ROMULANS!!"

EMH Mark II: "Two holograms, alone. Starfleet on one side, Romulans on the other. Alarms beeping everywhere ..."
Doctor: "EMH Mark Two -- newborn, but filled with courage."
EMH Mark II: "EMH Mark One -- armed with years of experience."
Doctor: "Together, they emerged triumphant!"
EMH Mark II: "The End!" (an alarm starts beeping) "Or not ..."


Doctor: "I am going to enter the force field now and start with a full scan of your mid-section. You should know I'm a hologram and can't be bent, spindled or mutilated, so don't bother trying."

Janeway: "Coffee: the finest organic suspension ever devised. It's gotten me through the worst of the last three years. I beat the Borg with it."


Hirogen hunter: "I once tracked a silicon based life form through the neutronium mantle of a collapsed star."
Paris: "I once tracked a mouse through Jeffries tube 32."

Seven: "A lesson in compassion will do me little good if I am dead."

The Killing Game

Tuvok (to Neelix): "In any covert battle, logic is a potent weapon. You might try it sometime."

Neelix (as a drunk Klingon): "I'm as dry as the crater at Tarpahk, in the middle of the dry season. When it's dry."

Doctor: "Don't argue with the man. Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs -- just don't displace them!"

Klingon #1: "Q'apla!"
Klingon #2: "Q'apla!"
Doctor (less than thrilled): "Tally ho ..."

Neelix (tentatively to the Klingons): "Ahem ... Pardon me, gentlemen. I wonder if I might have a word with you."
(the Klingons ignore him)
Doctor: "They're Klingons, not kittens!"

Paris (to Chakotay): "Since when is not wanting to spend time with the Doctor a capital offence? You'd have to throw the whole crew in the brig for that one."

The Omega Directive

Seven: "I have found a way to control Omega."
Janeway: "I don't care if you can make it sing and dance. We're getting rid of it."


Paris: "We could set up a bicycle in the mess hall, attach a generator, pedal home."
Janeway: "Why didn't I think of that?"

Hope and Fear

Janeway: "I'm your captain. That means I can't always be a friend. Understand?"
Seven (joking): "No. However, if we should be assimilated, our thoughts will be one ... and I'm sure I'll understand perfectly."
(Janeway stares at her)
Seven: "A joke, Captain. You, yourself, have encouraged me to use my sense of humor."
Janeway: "It's nice to know you're taking my advice to heart."


Paris (to Torres): "Why don't we make a schedule -- a fight rotation. We can optimize our resources. I can start one, then you can start one ..."

Doctor: "I go into a void every time I'm deactivated. Emptiness, complete and utter oblivion. I'll admit it was unsettling at first. The existential horror of it all."


Doctor: "Seven, get over to the helm so I can get a group picture. And smile like I know you can."

Doctor (to Torres): "I'm a doctor, not a Peeping Tom."

Once Upon a Time

Janeway: "If I have another cup of coffee, I'll jump to warp!"


Doctor (to Paris and Tuvok): "I'm a doctor, not a battery."

Paris: "You know something? I always thought that beneath that cold Vulcan exterior lay an even colder Vulcan interior, but now I'm convinced you're a hopeless romantic."
Tuvok: "There's no need to insult me Mr. Paris."


Naomi (to Seven): "My mom says two heads are better than one. Isn't that the Borg philosophy, too?"

Doctor: "I'm a doctor, not a dragon slayer."

Dark Frontier
Janeway (to Naomi): "There are three things to remember about being a starship captain: keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship ... and never abandon a member of your crew."
Course: Oblivion
Doctor (about Tom and B'Elanna getting married): "I never thought I'd see the day."
Seven: "Given the volatile nature of their relationship, one might have predicted homicide rather than matrimony."
Doctor (on seeing Seven catch Torres' bridal bouquet): "Congratulations!"
Seven: "On what?"
Doctor: "You may not want to know."
Someone to Watch Over Me

Torres (reading Seven's PADD): "'Stardate 52648. 0300 hours. Intimate relations resume--' How the hell do you know when we're having intimate relations?"
Seven: "There is no one on Deck 9 Section 12 who doesn't know when you're having intimate relations."

Doctor: "You're a woman, Seven!"
Seven: "Is that an observation or a diagnosis?"


Janeway (as she and Seven are about to be sent back from the 29th century): "See you in the 24th century."
Seven: "I look forward to it. Or should I say backward?"
Janeway: "Don't get started!"

Fair Haven

Janeway: "I've become romantically involved with a hologram, if that's possible."
Doctor: "Tell me what happened."
Janeway: "Oh, you know the story. Girl meets boy, girl modifies boy's subroutines ..."

Blink of an Eye

Torres: "Until we break orbit, the warp drive is off-line."
Chakotay: "And without the warp drive, we'll never leave orbit."
Torres: "It does pose a bit of a problem, doesn't it?"


Tuvok: "They're interfering with normal ship's functions."
Janeway: "Tuvok, when have functions on this ship ever been normal?"


Torres: "The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park!"

Ashes to Ashes

Seven (to the Borg children): "I've allotted one hour for recreational activity. There's no time for irrelevant conversation. Fun will now commence."


Doctor: (to Dr. Zimmerman): "I'm a doctor, not a zoo-keeper."


Doctor: (wanting to join Tom and B'Elanna on their' holodeck vacation) "Why don't I just join you?"
Torres: "Somehow I don't think that would add to the mood."
Doctor: "Don't be so sure. You haven't seen me in a bathing suit."

  Doctor: "What race? I was referring to your romantic getaway."
Paris: "Oh, no."
Doctor: "Don’t tell me you forgot."
Paris: "Do me a favor, Doc. Keep an eye on my bio signs."
Doctor: "What for?"
Paris: "Because in about five minutes, there may be a medical emergency in engineering."
  Torres: "Seems like the entire crew is coming down with 'race fever.'"
Seven: "Perhaps you could persuade the Doctor to develop a vaccine."

Paris (to Kim): "No, actually I was just going to congratulate you. I mean, she's not a Borg, she's not a hologram, and she's not dead. Looks like you might have found yourself the perfect woman."

Body and Soul

Kim: "They're prison rations! My uniform probably tastes better."

Flesh and Blood

Doctor (to Iden): "I'm a doctor, not an engineer."


Janeway: "Once a long time ago, I called this replicator a glorified toaster. It never forgave me."


Q2: "We were just getting to the good part!"
Q: "If the Continuum's told you once, they've told you a thousand times: DON'T PROVOKE THE BORG!"

Friendship One

Torres (yielding when Tom objects to her wanting to go on an away mission while pregnant): "Okay, you win -- but if we have another baby, you carry it and I go on the away missions."


Janeway: "What was that about?"
Miral Paris: "He said your demeanor was disrespectful."
Janeway: "I hope you told him I didn't mean to be rude."
Miral: "I told him that if he didn't show you more respect, I'd break his arm."
Janeway: "You are your mother's daughter!"

Kim: "Maybe it's not the destination that matters. Maybe it's the journey."

Doctor: "Try to relax, Lieutenant."
Torres: "If you tell me to relax one more time, I'm going to rip your holographic head off!"
Doctor: "I hope you don't intend to kiss your baby with that mouth."

Paris (shocked at the timing of Torres going into labor): "I can't believe it."
Torres: Oh, believe it!"
Paris: "I might actually win!"
Torres: "What?!"
Paris: "The baby pool. I guessed today. 1500 hours."
Torres: "I'm so glad I could accommodate you!